It doesn’t have to come to suicide but I understand it often does. That’s why I do what I do, and why so many other healers like me have learned valuable tools to bring healing to the collective. If you or someone you know is contemplating suicide please Contact Me, or reach out to someone without fear, knowing that at your emotions are valid and acceptable. The only fear is living one more day suffering in silence.
It’s ok, to not Feel ok! When we feel empowered to embrace our emotions even the darkness ones, with full loving acceptance, we allow our body to process the emotions and discharge the stuck negative energy to complete trauma cycles that get interrupted. That’s when we can learn what the pain is there to teach us, and allow the light to shine through us once again. It’s when we are shamed, punished, and not allowed to express our emotions, we aren’t allowed to not be ok, to not feel how we feel. That’s when our negative emotions cause us to suffer. It’s then when we resist our own skin, when self hate consumes our minds, making us doubt our own ability to feel and behave “Normally.” We divide ourselves into acceptable and unacceptable aspects, trying on different masks we’ve learned from someone else, all to try to escape from the hate we hold within.
The mind creates different ways to cope. Either by splitting our consciousness out of our bodies, or by creating new people, new personalities that don’t have coherent access to the suppressed positive resource either, but they do, have amnesia from the experience that caused the blocks and created the pain in the first place. The pain that you carry with you today.
It’s not about what’s broken within us, or about what’s gone wrong with us, it’s simply what has Happened to us! And I mean all of us, not just war hero’s. We’ve all experienced trauma, tragedy, heart break, loss, destruction, and devastation, in one way or another. It’s about accepting and owning our feelings, being lovingly present with all of them, knowing that they are ok. That you are allowed to feel any and all of your emotions, without needing to explain, or make excuses to anyone including yourself. Just be, and allow, knowing they are all valid and worth your conscious attention.
The thing is we’ve gone about finding this acceptance for our emotional states, looking outside of ourselves for validation, before we even allow our conscious mind to fully connect to the “unacceptable” emotion to have full awareness of it. This is when we do things and create situations that cause us to respond from a place of trauma. Manifesting our conscious reality from the dark shadows of our subconscious mind. This is when our positive resources become blocked, and instead of being mindfully aware of any given situation, able to respond at our highest and best capacity. We instead react from survival instinct that the situation activated, triggering your body to release the stuck trauma cycle you interrupted somewhere in your past. The thing that everyone needs to understand is that pretending our emotions don’t exist, hasn’t worked! It’s only created more illness, and perpetual suffering.
Every negative experience is driven by these stuck suppressed emotions. It causes glitches in our systems. Ever noticed how accidents happen when your already pissed off or having a crappy day? That’s because that negative energy is literally a magnetically charged energy field around you forcefully pulling like frequencies (negative energy) into your energy field.
Our emotions demand to be felt, no matter what your telling yourself they are still there, growing with more aches, illness, and issues that you probably believe are all unrelated to your emotions, but your emotions and the suppression of those emotions are what cause every medical alignment. It’s the food source that feed disease because energy gets stuck, when it’s suppressed, It’s not allowed to flow. When its stuck it creates density and that density restricts cell regeneration and your body starts to decay in those areas. Our energetic bodies don’t work when we force them to do something our mind beliefs is better. Our minds interrupt the process not allowing the body to do what it needs to do to complete the natural cycles. When you interrupt a trauma cycle from completing, you live stuck in it, until something is triggered to activate an old memory or sensory experience of like frequency to allow the trauma to complete itself. I’ll use myself as an example. To say that I’ve experienced more trauma then one person she have experienced in a lifetime is putting it mildly. I’ve been to the bottom just before death and I fought my way back to the light. I’m at a point now where I’m thankful for my trauma because it’s allowed for me to be able to go to the depths of anyone’s pain meeting them where they are, and guide them out of the darkness. Because their darkness doesn’t scare me, it’s where I lived the majority of my life and now I get to use my experience to facilitate healing for Anyone in search of awakening. I know that if I can heal truly anyone can too.
The majority of my life experience has been traumatic, partly because I supressed the negative emotions I had about the trauma and loss I experienced in my childhood. I’d raise my frequency high enough to no longer live in my past experiences, not knowing these were all incomplete stuck energy, so I was always completely blindsided when more trauma would seemingly come out of no where. I’d be feeling happy, my life would be going great, and success would be within reach. Everytime I’d throw it to the universe, I’d ask the Universe to help me keep it together long enough to grab this dream and everytime without fail the universe would manifest my reality of every trigger, every trauma, everything I hadn’t dealt with, was forcefully brought to my reality. Because it’s exactly what I asked the universe for. I didn’t want to be held back anymore by crazy situations that completely destroyed my potential future. I found a way to find blame in everything else other than my intentions. My intentions tucked way back in my subconscious mind. I spent a few years banging my head into a wall with these cycles until I finally started to see these patterns. Thank God, I’m terrible at math, or I could have probably found a pattern to avoid every unwanted experience. But finally a few years ago, after litteraly losing my whole family, my house, my car, my relationship, completely alone, homeless. That’s when it hit me, my life started to make sense and started to shift. I finally got the message loud and clear from the universe, that I was no longer allowed to pretend to be something that I’m not and put off doing what I came here to do any longer because the only option other awakening was death. Finally for the first time in my life I didn’t want to die but from the frequency I was vibrating at, near death experiences were my everyday life and I didn’t have the energy to watch out for danger around every corner any longer, so I surrendered. I gave up fighting to survive. I managed to buy myself another car by then and the transmission goes out leaving me stuck by myself in an apartment for a month. I didn’t see that the universe was protecting me from getting killed, I thought I was being punished. Then the universe took away my ability to sleep for nearly the whole month. I would try to take things into my body and I’d instantly throw up. I couldn’t eat much of anything and my body was constantly vibrating. I remember crying thinking this was how I was going to die, after all of this fighting, and now I actually made the conscious decision to live. I called a therapist I respected that I had studied under. He told me to release my ability to feel fear for just one day if a fearful thought came up, just acknowledge it but suspend my ability to feel into it. So I did for one whole day and what happened next is so crazy that I don’t even know if I can put it into words.
I had this spiritual awakening that catapulted me into another dimension. Every thought that I had ever thought was all being answered. I had this new awareness of why my life had gotten so incredibly fucked up. I could see solution and new roads to travel. My connection to spirit was unblocked my intuition was more clear than ever and my general disposition was just calmer but with more intensity.
Since that experience I can’t really describe it but the reality I was previously living in didn’t have any power over me. I could see it clearly for what it was and that was that. No more getting into meaningless fights over contradicting beliefs. I finally saw that everyone was entitled to there own perspective and it wasn’t my job to change it for them.
Since my awakening I’ve only experienced one extremely powerless moment that scared me but allowed me to completely trauma cycles I’d been carrying since grade school. And since I now have learned tools necessary to heal. It took that last experience for me to understand that I never got away from my pain I only created more of it by trying to get away from it. I learned that in order to create the life you’ve always dreamed of, you first have to heal the nightmares from your past, so you can clearly see the path your manifesting from.
If you can’t see what you want than your manifesting from your subconscious mind. By our subconscious mind hijacking our cognitive functioning, driving our response systems into defense of our survival instincts that are currently being triggered by the sensory feeling your experiencing. This is when we respond and react in such a way that leads us to do, say, react, and respond in ways that we regret, that we need forgiveness for. By this time though, you’ve already abandoned yourself so don’t be surprised at what you may do to other’s. It’s time to turn the eyes inside and stop with the blame game, it’s a pointless battle that no one Will Ever Win.
So basically you’ve been living just a trigger or two away from emotionally re-experiencing the exact trauma you’ve been desperately trying to avoid, and over and over and over again you manifest the same horrible feeling even though you’ve changed all of outside contributing factors, Except Yourself.
Maybe you became consumed by trying to control your reality, you don’t let things that remind you of pain to enter and when you have no choice but allow it to, you can’t understand why your having panic attacks. Maybe you finally got up the courage to express your feelings to the one your in love with, to be painfully rejected. So from that day forward you put up walls, responding with carefully crafted behavior to achieve the desired responses from others. Doesn’t that sound exhausting? HAVEN’T YOU BEEN FAKING IT Until YOU MAKE IT, for long enough to see that your never going to trick your subconscious mind into believing the lies that we tell ourselves, in attempts to find relief.
Even if your the very best actor in Hollywood it still will never exempt you from the law of attraction because you can’t force yourself to believe something that you don’t believe and you can’t think I don’t want something without your focus upon it. You can’t lie to your body by telling yourself that you love yourself, when you have all these unacceptable emotions that you hide.
News Flash.. Your body is still experiencing everything you’re mind says is fine. Your body is not against you and neither is the universe. If your mind is the only one out of the 3 that has the ability to manipulate, then why is it we continue to point the fingers outside? Your subconscious mind manifests these thought patterns in attempts to keep you safe, but now it is the only thing actually causing you pain. It’s time to detox our minds and shift our focus to find new proof for the reality we want to create letting go of the hyper focus on what we don’t want. Focus on what you do want and let go of the fear that your not allowed to have everything you ever dreamed of, because now you remember that you came here to experience greatness and now looking through the lenses of your truth authentic self you can finally see that you are ment to be here and everything you ever dreamed of is ment to be yours, because you can not desire something without the ability to manifest you’re desires, when you live in a universe that’s governed by Law Of Attraction.
Thank you for reading
I love you all,
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